Intangible
fantasies on lucid dream were always there to fulfill insatiable, forbidden
desire. Tilted from the normalcy, evasion accomplishes regression, and
collision establishes catharsis, with turbid, grayish pity upon oneself. When
it comes to lucid dream, the evasion and collision coexists, throwing one upon
extreme ecstasy, vivifying the imaginary utopia, outside, but inside the real
world. Nonetheless, un-easy as it is, only selected few are allowed to step
down the staircases of lucid dream. It is said, bundles of hostile stories and
the ghastly figures surround one, as if they are Cerberus. If I’m one of the
stars particularly glittering around, chosen by The Supremacy, I would
definitely get into the lucid dream. Definitely, unquestionably, I will. I
will.
Remember
the ‘break’, I was heard. It determines whether it is dream or real. Remember
the ‘break’, I was heard.
Then,
suddenly, stunning laser lights colored – white, black, white, black- splashed
inside my closed, dim eyes, making me fragile, drowning under the deepest
surface of abyss, -fallen- into an addiction without gravity, then –beep-
From the very moment the last scoop
of dense air exited out of my lungs and my now-unbound soul seeped through my
dry skin towards the heavens above, there were no more tears. I was dead and so
did the pains that I've entailed. Gone. Erased. Yet my free soul was not,
though my flesh and blood were naught. I fluttered through the air, racing
towards the light above—a cosmic relief.
After hours of mindless flight, I arrived at a gate of gold so marvelous, yet humble. It was silent, but it hummed a divine hymn. I was addicted to it. My eyes fixated, I stand for however long I pleased. It was a fortress of gold standing on a cloud—the outskirts of paradise.
Then came a voice.
"Majesty, welcome back to your shelter."
After hours of mindless flight, I arrived at a gate of gold so marvelous, yet humble. It was silent, but it hummed a divine hymn. I was addicted to it. My eyes fixated, I stand for however long I pleased. It was a fortress of gold standing on a cloud—the outskirts of paradise.
Then came a voice.
"Majesty, welcome back to your shelter."
Majesty.
Quite satisfying character. Disempowered since the day of breathe, I believe, temporary
taste of power would be a piece of delight and jolly. I take this.
You’re welcome. How come there aren’t
any newcomers?
Mimic dwarfs out of my
imaginations startled – seemed to be all my acquaintances, so I desired them to
be ‘welcoming’, ‘pleasant’, thus, showed greetings, but erratically their faces
were swirling into pieces as if they have confronted catastrophe, once
experienced, quite a short time ago – The swirls invaded me with venomous,
reddy blood drops all over the atmosphere, trying to crawl upon the barrier
that might disgruntle every existence in between the dream and real world.
Just before the
scratches are fairly made as disgraceful scars, the scene had been frozen.
Then,
Break one.
Hugh..
Break two.
Huh?
Definitely, I
wasn’t the selected few, I believe.
As a poetic rant or even slam poetry or a dramatic reading, this works. It's interesting in an esoteric and surreal sort of way. But - as a metafiction - this doesn't fit the definition. While you did use some chainwriting material, you didn't apply it to a new and separate layer of narrative. This is basically just one dimensional narrative that doesn't feature intertextuality. To fix it, maybe have this person talking in their sleep, or undergoing hypnosis, or something clear and purposeful that is easy for your reader to grasp and imagine. As it stands now, this is confusing and doesn't fit a short story. Make sure you understand the assignment.
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